Unfeeling
by The next Padfoot
Summary: He is gone. She can't do anything, the pain is too great. So she becomes unfeeling. It is the only way to survive without him.


_Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it_

-Albus Dumbledore

~O~O~O~

I was unfeeling, even as James yelled.

"HE WHAT?" I flinched away as James jumped up. He had inherited the infamous Weasley temper, and he couldn't control it as of yet.

"He broke up with me." I repeated, rolling my eyes. I watched James warily as he steadily turned multiple shades of red. I flipped my hair casually, ignoring all the probing stares from my family. One gaze drew my attention. I turned, expecting to see my mother looking at me intently. Instead, Rose was watching me, as if she was inspecting me. I bit my lip and turned away.

When I turned back, she was glaring into the fire, and I knew that in the one second our eyes met, she saw everything I was hiding from my family. The pain, the anger, the hurt that I felt. _He_ often told me that I was an open book, so easy to read my emotions. Maybe that was more true than I knew. Maybe it's just that my family is too busy going and _going_ and talking and playing quidditch that they never look just beneath the surface.

Maybe that's a good thing.

~O~O~O~

It had been two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred thirty six hours. Twenty thousand one hundred sixty minutes.

Yeah, I'm totally over him.

I smiled as I looked around. I closed my front door and started walking towards my parents house. They live only a few blocks away from me, so I can easily walk from my house. While walking, I passed through a busy block filled with muggles. The bright display at a shop window attracted many viewers, I being one of them. Maybe if I hadn't stopped, I would have never seen him. I sighed as I turned, thinking about how I could never afford the things they sold in shops like that.

Maybe it was his hair that caught my eye. Whatever it was, I saw him there. Even from where I was, I could see he didn't look well. He was paler than usual, his face was drawn. He looked unhappy.

Not that I care.

Our eyes met, I know he recognized me. Time froze, it was only me and him. Then he looked away, glanced next to him, then back to me. He frowned, and I realized why. A blond girl chattered in his ear, oblivious to how he felt. She could never know him like I do.

Then it hit me.

He was with another woman. He was already over me. He had moved on. I felt like ice had just shot through my veins. I spun and ran through the crowd, fighting tears. I turned into an empty alleyway and apparated away.

~O~O~O~

I watched the tears rolling off my cheeks, falling to the carpet below. Rose sat next to me, holding my hand as I cried. The doorbell rang and I froze.

"I'll be right back," Rose told me, her voice low and soothing. She released my hand and stood up. I didn't move in response as she left the room. Instead of making noise and being dramatic, I listened.

The door creaked open. "Malfoy? What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?"

"I know Lily's here, Rose. May I speak with her, please?" Pain shot through me at the sound of his voice. I could be numb. He had found me. Rose wasn't about to let him in, right? The thing was... he sounded like he was in just as much pain as I was.

"Lily?" I looked up when he called me. He looked worse up close than from a distance. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his hair was a mess, and his clothes were wrinkled. The tears froze on my face as I took in his appearance. "Oh, Lily.." In a moment, he was at my side with his arms around me. I relaxed into his touch and in return wrapped my arms around his waist. I buried my face into his chest while I sobbed.

"Y-you said you loved me. You s-said you'd n-never leave me. You lied." Tear flowed freely down my face. When I pulled my head away, his shirt was soaked. He shook his head.

"But I do love you. I'm here now, apologizing. I never meant to lie to you. Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made. I'm sorry. W-will you ever forgive me?" I looked up into his stormy gray eyes. All I could see there was love, and regret. I smiled involuntarily.

"What kind of person would I be if I didn't?"

~O~O~O~

So there you have it! For reference, this is after Lily's graduation. Also, Lily apparated to Rose's house. Just in case anyone was confused there. Thank you for reading! Review!

-Padfoot (who wishes she could put a heart here or something cool like that)


End file.
